Friday, July 25, 2008

pornography ...for breakfast

I heard a story one time of a young woman who was born-again and was getting married to another born-again brother. During the pre-nuptials fellowship, both the families were invited. the girls family as well as the young man's family. after a lot of preaching, worship and singing, it was time for testimony. Testimony in the evangelical worship is quite integral. the story goes that the young woman got up and gave a testimony of how she met the Lord and he saved her life. she went on to give the juicy details of her former life which she called a life of prostitution saying she could not even count how many men had laid her. it was a shocker. even though this was a gathering of saved people with high forgiveness quotient, the mother, the sisters, the aunts of the man could just not reconcile themselves with the prospects of their 'clean' son marrying a whore! the marriage did not proceed.

The story taught me that there are things you can say even if you were saved and there are things you must not say. a human being must have secrets. and private life must remain, mmmm errr private.

fast forward, enter fm stations with young upward mobile presenters and all of a sudden every one wants to discus their private life in public. its getting worse by the day. i normally awkwardly have to drive with my finger on the radio buttons to change channels. the music is great but it stops all of a sudden and listeners are being asked what they think of the caller who had CFA with this man and now wants to dump him. or what they think of this sex style. or which tribe is best at pare pare and so on. everywhere i turn to its the same story. I often wonder who is so keen as to discus live pornography as early as 7AM. initially i heard these shows were aired at night for the benefit of the single and lonely. but now, i hear them throughout the day even evenings. incidentally this is the same time kids are either going to school or coming from school. Surely! and to make matters worse some stories are so awkwardly lurid that even as an adult you are left wondering how someone can say that on national radio! and its worse if you use public transport since you have no control over the radio!

but as radio stations were going down koinange street, yesterday two TV stations performed a first in Kenyan or even world history. I saw them host Prof. Sam ongeri live on two separate talk shows in separate stations at the same time! Ok i dont know if the good old prof has a double or magic powers. after all he comes from the land of the powerful witches.

yet one man who urgently needs more divine power is one Ali Mwakwere. How on earth can you be so laid back when people are dying and your ministry is in such a mess. indeed i now agree with my friend who said that you can be promoted to your level of incompetence. he had warned me against raw ambition. that the higher you climb the more you expose the holes in your cassock. But surely the MPs who showed kimunya the door can help us? yesterday i watched in horror as they showed a ferry almost sinking and killing all on board! The minister was well as expected: mum.

Monday, July 21, 2008

All that glitters

I hate seeing or listening to one man called Wakoli Bufwoli. For no reason at all apart from the fact that he has constantly disapproved my judgment. 'meeting' the man as an MP way back in 2003, i could not help but lament at what the NARC euphoria had brought to us. it was like the waste that comes with the flood after a heavy rain. i predicted that it would be the more eloquent and straight talking Kituyi who would rise above his cowardly and clueless chairman Kombo and become the next president of Kenya (of course after being appointed VP). In fact Kituyi even turned down a prestigious international nomination for office for my predictions to come true. However yesterday it was Hon. Wakoli with his staccato speech giving the direction of the hitherto forceful FORD-K party. defying his PNU president Kibaki on the need to dissolve the party. Hon. Wakoli was just one of the few Former MPs in Western province to beat the ODM wave. not even the VP survived. never judge a book by its cover indeed!

But there is another book that was misjudged and is giving investors sleepless nights. Safaricom was supposed to go up 4 times on day one to enable enterprising Kenyans to sell and buy plots in prime areas. I think Kenyans and land are like Siamese twins joined at the hip!

However one month down the line Kenyans are seeing their loans getting heavier as the price dips further. they are selling in droves and i keep on getting questions like will it ever go back up? What i wonder is, do people really ask themselves this question: If they are selling , who is buying and why? is that buyer the most stupid man in this country of intelligent people?

talking of intelligence. You will probably be shocked to know that one of the latest schools in Nairobi to go on strike pretesting hard exams, Upper Hill SS, is actually one of the best boys boarding school in Nairobi Province and admits only intelligent boys from primary. early this year i was with a distraught parent whose son missed the school by a whisker and was hovering around the primary school looking for help from the teachers. ah well great expectations bring great disappointments. However even after one kid died in the strike, my lips are still sealed as i find no moral authority to condemn the young boys. reflecting on the events of the recent past, i feel all of us Kenyans must be jointly and severally held liable for the mess in our schools right now.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Of TV and jokes

sometimes, watching TV you feel like entering the box and talking sense to the those guys. in fact you can quite relate to those fans who in the '80s used to smash their radios when there favorite team (either Gor or AFC leopards) conceded a goal. yesterday i felt the same watching Loui Otieno live in nyeri. the people participating went on and on about them (kikuyu) being hated since they hate sitting around doing nothing. and every example they gave went something like: "when we get employed anywhere, we don't just sit back and wait for salary, we have to put up a small business or shamba to supplement the income..." ah well but which employer wants someone who also runs a business? i once had a colleague who had business in town. the guy used to have all the excuses in this world to get time to go attend to his many affairs. in the end the job was never done. have we been wondering where the rain started beating us? why services are not given? why you can never get officers in the office? why it takes 3 months to get a passport etc. well it was all on citizen TV yesterday. What actually is fraud? is it not the same as what i was hearing on TV jana? stealing time from your employer is just the same as goldenberg or anglo, etc. and employers are getting meaner even receiving personal mail or browsing non business sites is treated as fraud these days!

Its that same thinking that made traffic policemen also own matatus, procurement officers sell to the same company they worked for and so on. to think someone can be proud of it as to announce it on TV! no funny at all

another thing thats not funny is the kenya comedies. actually each time i see a new comedy come up on TV, i give one more thumbs up to the man called ojwang and co. The monday show on NTV is a case in point. i normally feel forced to laugh. citizen tried with papa shirats but the thing has simply degenerated and jalango's trial at imitating the poor luo kiswahili just doesn't hit home. ok i acknowledge luos are generally less than average in Swahili but they dont mix themselves up that much. the jokes ends up being lost in the farce altogether. Again joking about other people is never funny the funniest joke is always one that make us laugh at ourselves.

But i always wonder how the guys behind tahidi high have managed to hold this long. how come the show is so fresh, well rehearsed, well researched, well acted and well produced? how is that yet these are still Kenyans just like the mwala team?

so much for TV, whats going on in school??? did i hear that some school boys went on strike to complain about hard exams just at the time another was demanding modern music system in the school bus? reminds you of the time nairobi university went on the rampage to demand goat meat or when our own good old KB school went berserk to demand long trousers. oh what age does to reason!

Monday, July 14, 2008

of fences and gates

Jana, i took a walk around south c where i recently moved. actually i was looking for a barber. part of familiarization tour as well. i walked almost around the entire estate and found myself at capital center only to find the barber shop closed. then went back to the shopping center where i got a very good young man to do the head job. I discovered that the estate is actually a conglomeration of mini gated estates or are they courts and that also answered the most intriguing question i have had since i moved these sides.

A number of issues both within and without my control had conspired to move me from the leafy, nay country-side suburbs of lower kabete where we drunk milk directly from the cows teats and woke up to the crows of the fowls, to the concrete jungle of kilimani where traffic never ceased to zoom past and finally to the estate of the traffic jam. that story has already been told.

And that traffic jam has always baffled me. getting out of the estate itself is a nightmare. however yesterday i found out why. For one, the courts are all gated some within a larger common gated compound meaning that there are no bypasses or outlets for cars. it means therefore that there is only one 'freeway' around the esto. So when cars 'pour' out they are bound to get locked in the maze.

secondly, almost every gated court i saw yesterday had at least one or two cars squeezed inside the small compound. which explains why i seldom meet matatus on the road. it means that public transport is very poor.

Third, i noticed that the one road left for all of us is pretty narrow so overtaking even a non-roadworthy junkie is out of the question during busy hours.

But i found other interesting things about the place. one good thing is that the old style houses have maintained their original design and modifications are few and far between. maybe coz most owners appear to be Asians who unlike their counterparts in buru buru may not have been greedy for an extra 3k for an extension. But one thing that is not in short supply is the variety of gates and fences! from the simple designer gates to the elaborate tall gates with spikes or broken bottles to keep off the buglers. in fact from the gates and fences you can easily tell the houses apart. some wall fences i saw, apart from being very tall, had on top of them; broken bottles, electric fence wires and curled razor wire fence! talk of not wanting to leave anything to chance. But the one i found most amusing was one tall walled fence with kayaba(sp) trees planted around it. real security

Another thing i have learnt is that pple in these parts of the world go to bed pretty early. no local bars or 'heng' joints and even though we are normally stuck in traffic during the day, you don't meet any traffic after 8pm and most lights are out. one day i sighed with disappointment thinking that there was a power blackout since most windows were dark only to see a security light on at one of the gates yet it was only 9pm! which is strange given the number of GTV satellite dishes all over the place.

Talking of 'heng', last week i saw first hand who has been hit hardest by the runway inflation. my favorite joint where we used to go early to ensure we got a nice table was virtually empty even though a re-known benga artist was visiting town and playing real live music and not lip sync. maybe inflation is not bad after all since it keeps families together!

Monday, July 07, 2008


I suspected it but never entirely expected it. Mr Amos Kimunya, using the same old tired strategy of blaming 'enemies of the tribe' for his tribulations! I was shocked to hear that on TV. that quote ' are the ones being targeted! ' i was like 'ouch!' and he had the soft underbelly of central Kenyans to strike. the man knew how to dangle the tribe card. be blamed one Raila Odinga Amolo. it was easy to see why. Raila is probably not very much liked in central province and if Jesus were to come back with a name called Raila (since he said we know not the format or time, all those guys would run to hades) . Now that shocked and disappointed me. i had thought kimunya would have been wiser. which makes me give more credit to kibaki. sometimes it helps to just keep quiet even if you are right. people seem to side with the seemingly voiceless defenseless guy. but when you open your mouth and utter such incredible things you remove all the doubt.

But going back to my earlier post/thought, kimunya surely is a young bright minister. but is intelligence , hard work and youth enough? This thing has reminded me of some young guys who had to be let go from where i worked due to such kind of things. and in the near future, integrity and cleanness will form an integral part of requirements for employment or any other forms of engagement. Thinking of it if i were to employ a house help, it would not matter to me if she/he made the best dinner, sweeter far than those of java house or mercury. it wouldn't matter if her washing was brighter than sunlight or her ironing were crisp like new. No it wouldn't is she/he were also a thief! or if she/he also sold my goods to neighbors.

In other thinking, i would like to watch how kipipiri and indeed the wider central Kenya will react. will they defend a thief meaning that no one better with cleaner hands could emerge from there? or will they act like the meru who showed mwiraria the door? showing the whole world that even from stones, God can raise another meru leader and that if you stole , you were on your own?

Friday, July 04, 2008


i have been jolted into action once more by coldi. i have no idea what happened to my blog. but looking at it its more than half a month stale. not by choice though.

some good news first. i got a donation of 7,000 from no-spin towards Urenga primary school. I also learnt that no-spin is actually in California. Thank u very very much. other pledges came from Florence Wamwiri in Nairobi and nyarshady. Am very delighted and grateful. and the kids are doing well in school. the girl in the provincial school has moved up to top 6 and is the leading French student in the school (not just class).

Some bad news; first on Kimunya, actually there are two reasons i haven't commented on this saga:

1. is that people normally say we resemble at least facially. Some pple have even asked whether we are brothers.
2. I think he is one of the brightest and smartest working ministers we got. and his having a youthful face goes a long way in encouraging our young people to perform.
3. I refuse to believe that Kimunya could do such a thing on his own and alone. the man is being fried like the proverbial scapegoat for other people's sins. you never know maybe the Libyans funded the last election campaigns.

one other minister i admired a lot was the man called mwiraria, i was sad when he got implicated in the anglo leasing thing. But he restored my pride when he voluntarily resigned and allowed investigations to be done. the man maintained his cool and gentle nature to the end. my pride was restored.

i will be hoping my 'face sake' Amos will keep our brand great and make an honorable decision.

another sad news, mugabe, ok enough has been said of the man. but am not getting it: How on earth can you stay on as a leader when your country's economy is in such a state. is it not shameful to be a leader of such a 'thing'? and his wife? cant the wife give the poor man some reality check? Why do men marry anyway?