Wednesday, September 05, 2007

business lessons from thugland/cops

My primary school football hero Bakari used to tell us one thing, if you miss the ball , never miss the man. he used this belief with lots of success. but when i came of age i thought it was rather cruel so i decided to change the second part to '...never miss the lesson'.

there were many lessons to be learnt from first, the thugs and second the cops.

1. Know your customer: the thugs did a good job profiling me, they asked about my place of work, level of education, number of kids etc. that way they would easily tell what to expect and how to treat me

2. train your customers: there were several things i did not know. they first of all asked me whether i knew what a gun was and how it was used. they then went on to teach me that if i cooperated and they got what they wanted , no one would be hurt.

3. efficiency: i still marvel at the efficiency with which these guys bundled us into the car. it was so fast and neat. even when i got the car , i marveled at how they had removed the stereo without damaging the ignition, EFI system, lamps etc. only the dome lights and central locking were affected. and they also left the wires neatly cut and folded

4. leadership and order: the other two thugs obediently followed their leader. and there was a clear pecking order as well. the leader, the deputy and the third who seemed like a "mtu wa mkono". i also saw utmost order and respect at the police station

5. core business: these thugs stuck to the goal of robbery. they never tried funny things that others do these days such as sodomy and rape. they also never hit any one of us at all. they never stole the lights or the wheels

6. bureaucracy never works: i suspect the police would have been more efficient had they abandoned the process of saying that boundaries must be respected and that they cannot do someones elses job. also the time we spent waiting for the duty officer was too much. it gave the thugs enough time to escape had they wanted.

7. Always deliver on your promise: those guys promised not to harm me and they didn't. they also promised to dump my car that very day and they did!


in other news, Mumias and EABL have both declared handsome bonuses. MSC may have wanted to cover up the reduced profitability but still it was a good show. they effectively reduced the initial cost of the share. but remember you don't benefit until after the register is closed. if you sell now you lose out on the bonus and dividend.

what lessons do we learn from these two? that kenyan firms will be looking at greater expansion as opposed to dividend payout. kengen has 2 billion issued shares. and they are at 30 /= that means most firms with less than a billion shares may decide to go on a split, bonus issue spree until they have at least 1 billion shares issued.

8 comments:

  1. Man, leave it to you to see logic in every situation - very interesting that when all's said and done, you don't view yourself as a victim, but as part of a transaction - I admire that positive attitude.

    On MSC, I feel some redemption that I've held on to the shares. Watching the share take a free fall the first quarter of the year was somewhat painful.

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  2. OD - Pole sana kwa kuhandwa! It is interesting that you've remained positive and I like the way you broke down the whole ordeal.

    I am not surprised that the 'utumwishi kwa wote' continue to be a disgrace to society. Radical change is needed to streamline this disgraceful force in uniforms.

    Piece-meal reforms have obviously had no difference on their attitudes and deep rooted culture of corruption and ineffectiveness.

    Regarding MSC, I love the way they sweetened the deal, even though I don't subscribe to insider trading.

    Rumors of the bonus were around long before it was announced it. Given the copy cat nature of listed companies, I agree with you that more will be following in the near future.

    SWAKA

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  3. @no-spin,thank you for the complement. i still think MSC is a good stock. i think it went down due to the numbers that were there. but am aware that QII were really moping them up

    @annon, asante! there is a big picture in the whole thing. the guys who carjack are mere pawns in a very elaborate crime ring involving senior security officials and 'businessmen' the stolen goods are quickly sold to the public. its a multi million shilling industry.

    this country doesn't respect laws so insider trading will persist for long

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  4. OD: Wow... u have guts to make fun of the situation!

    BTW, mbaru took an ad out defending the NSE against claims of insider trading...

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  5. @coldi, i expected mbaru to defend the nse. you dont expect him to condemn his own trade!

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  6. That's an interesting take on your situation, hopefully other citizens of thugland won't be taking notes from your blog.
    Like no spin, I'm one of those dudes who are heaving a large sigh of relief on MSC. Finally my redemption will be here in November and the investment decision will be justified.

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