business lessons from thugland/cops

My primary school football hero Bakari used to tell us one thing, if you miss the ball , never miss the man. he used this belief with lots of success. but when i came of age i thought it was rather cruel so i decided to change the second part to '...never miss the lesson'.

there were many lessons to be learnt from first, the thugs and second the cops.

1. Know your customer: the thugs did a good job profiling me, they asked about my place of work, level of education, number of kids etc. that way they would easily tell what to expect and how to treat me

2. train your customers: there were several things i did not know. they first of all asked me whether i knew what a gun was and how it was used. they then went on to teach me that if i cooperated and they got what they wanted , no one would be hurt.

3. efficiency: i still marvel at the efficiency with which these guys bundled us into the car. it was so fast and neat. even when i got the car , i marveled at how they had removed the stereo without damaging the ignition, EFI system, lamps etc. only the dome lights and central locking were affected. and they also left the wires neatly cut and folded

4. leadership and order: the other two thugs obediently followed their leader. and there was a clear pecking order as well. the leader, the deputy and the third who seemed like a "mtu wa mkono". i also saw utmost order and respect at the police station

5. core business: these thugs stuck to the goal of robbery. they never tried funny things that others do these days such as sodomy and rape. they also never hit any one of us at all. they never stole the lights or the wheels

6. bureaucracy never works: i suspect the police would have been more efficient had they abandoned the process of saying that boundaries must be respected and that they cannot do someones elses job. also the time we spent waiting for the duty officer was too much. it gave the thugs enough time to escape had they wanted.

7. Always deliver on your promise: those guys promised not to harm me and they didn't. they also promised to dump my car that very day and they did!


in other news, Mumias and EABL have both declared handsome bonuses. MSC may have wanted to cover up the reduced profitability but still it was a good show. they effectively reduced the initial cost of the share. but remember you don't benefit until after the register is closed. if you sell now you lose out on the bonus and dividend.

what lessons do we learn from these two? that kenyan firms will be looking at greater expansion as opposed to dividend payout. kengen has 2 billion issued shares. and they are at 30 /= that means most firms with less than a billion shares may decide to go on a split, bonus issue spree until they have at least 1 billion shares issued.