Baffling Scenario

After about 4 weeks working with wazungus here in England, (majuu like my gud nephew calls it) I keep on wondering how it is that their life and cities are way more advanced. It would appear to me that they dont do half as much as we do back at home. Their work day starts at 9AM at which time they line up for coffee anyway. Then most of the morning is spent between coffee points and desk and snacking (why must they eat so frequently?!) 12 noon on the dot they are already heading to the cafeteria and if you go at that time you find it very packed. The afternoon is shorter and at 5pm they are all leaving for home!
What I even found most shocking was that most dont report on Fridays when they say they would be working from home. This at a time when we are supposed to be finalizing on a major project!

Where I work we start at 8 officially but most of us often report by 7:15 owing to the traffic anyway. Leaving is normally officially 5pm but your manager and most other people will be looking at you strangely if you dare leave at that time. Average home time is normally 6 going 7 and when there is a major project like this one then midnight does it for you and your weekends are all in custody!

How then is it possible for the standard of living to be this good? My colleague reckons it has everything to do with slave trade!

This Draft Thing ...

After 20 years of waiting and several billions of shillings, death, pain, hatred, disunity I must say that am rather dispointed at what has been presented as the draft law to govern us into prosperity. However, I may just be willing to let it go. If someone was using that trick to wear me out into submission, then he must have succeeded big time with me.

But recently I have found another good reason to support the draft. Maybe I just want it to spite the religious leaders. I feel bad each time they comment on anything about governance. I feel the same contempt for them that I feel each time the former HoS Daniel Moi opens his mouth to comment on the affairs of Kenya. I have argued that the man who had more than 32 years of top leadership has no business telling us what to do after having messed us so much.

I still hold that the religious leaders long lost their moral high ground to tell anyone anything about governance. for starters, The Catholic church celebrated a century of existence in Kenya way back in 1990, thats 20 years ago. I dont know how long the Anglican church has been around and even the Muslims. But in all those years, they failed to teach their faithful the one fundamental tenet of their faiths. The one of loving each other as self and loving the stranger. Whats more , they became totally docile after 2002 elections.

However the biggest bone that I pick with this group of men and women is how they watched us as we slaughtered and barbecued each other in 2008! All the senior politicians in this country profess some sort of religious affinity. How was it possible for them to get to where we got in 2008 and their spiritual leaders to keep mum? As things are now, I fail to be convinced that a life saving abortion  would be more lethal than pure hatred and tribalism which has a stranglehold over Kenyans. I equally fail to see how Kadhis courts would cause more harm than the crime of omission these men and women collectively committed against Kenyans for these decades.

Of Success ...

Last Saturday, we held the 10th Annual General Meeting of our Savings and Credit Society where we announced among other things a 47% rise in revenue, 37% rise in net profits, deposits up 36% healthy cash flow etc. It was also the first time we invited the minister for CD&M to grace the occasion. what made it easy was his comical speech and his ease with everyone. He started by getting up to serve himself lunch instead for sitting back and enjoying our serving.

The day was full of comedy really. first, I found out that when the man came there was supposed to be a protocol of greeting the man and his entourage. Then there was the sitting arrangement. With an elaborate format on who sits on his left and who sits on his right, then who and who. I mixed that all up. But I must thank his able officers from the ministry for sorting out that. Even when delivering the speech, there is a protocol of recognizing the people in attendance. o boy! Well after mixing up the protocol when I went to do my speech and in the processes sweating profusely (I had to keep the coat on even though the sun was unforgiving that day) I thought it was only fair to reward my good old self. First I took those great men and women who worked with me in the past year to a sumptuous dinner at a top city restaurant then I told my self. self, your time has come to take it easy and thank yourself for a job well done. I therefore tossed the coin to decide where to take a jig. Anyway the coin wasn't even needed coz I was going to join my friend on langata road anyway. A new young artist was entertaining.

The rookie was belting real good rumba tunes but what stood out was 'nya sakwa'. one of the most romantic luo songs yet. Each time he sung it, couples jumped onto the floor in tight embrace rhythmically swaying to the slow beats. Those of us who hadn't carried their significant others along were left waving in the air in an apparent submission to the most powerful emotion known to man (and woman) it was difficult to know what the song had. was it the powerful words, the sweet strum of the guitar, the melodious drumming or just the god of music?

The gentleman John Junior is actually my cousin's cousin which by extension makes him my cousin but the word cousin only translates to 'owadwa' which means my brother therefore the man is actually my bro! Success begets relatives

A little lip on the 'Crisis'

A lot has been said, a lot remains unsaid about the current 'crisis' in our coalition government. I must also claim my lip rights to mouth what my mind tells me.

Question is, why has Raila all of a sudden decided in the view of most Kenyans to take a rope and commit political suicide? First with the mau issue and now with maize and school fees issue? Why is he playing into the hands of his enemies? why when in fact a by election looms large?

My mind tells me that a number of people in 2007 could have voted one Mr. Raila Amolo Odinga as president due to his tribe but a big number could have voted him due to good old hope. Hope that his consistency in fighting various ills in society could be used to finally right the many wrongs. I am persuaded that there were a number of Kenyans who voted Raila in for being Raila and being Raila in their minds meant being right and firm.

But in the last 2 years since he shared power with Kibaki, has Raila been Raila? not really. He tried to play siasa. Doing a number of things to please his key accounts namely the Rutos of this world.

It seems clear that all of a sudden Raila has now woken up from the slumber and realized that for his own sake and for the sake of the country , he needs to be Raila. He needs to give to the country that which his personality promised. Meaning good governance at all costs to him. He has decided to be himself. And thats why I dont agree with Mutahi Ngunyi who reckons that Raila played into Kibakis bait. First I dont believe Kibaki is that sharp. If he were he would not have lost the referendum and subsequent general election with all those resources he had. I mean honestly for one he was a head of state and government controlling vast resources and a corrupt provincial administration together with the police force. Then secondly he was being backed by the most populous and most wealthy tribe in the nation. He was up against a person on the exact opposite of the social spectrum. He should not have lost this leave alone tie and take us through the painful experience of 2007. For that matter I dont buy the Kibaki brilliance theory of Ngunyi.

In any case, my mind tells me that its Kibaki who played into Raila's bait and rushed to squash his decision thus giving himself up to everyone as to who was the corrupt principal. Talk of hook , line and sinker.

But my good friend jakondiek is a worried man, being a blood supporter of Raila he wonders whether the man will survive this and I tell him, I dont know but what I know is that the man seems to emerge stronger from every crisis. Probably only Raila knows what it means to be Raila so time will tell.

If Q Could Change...

It was in November 2008 when I blogged here about my Arduous argument with Q. Wow time does fly! I remember leaving that debate really feeling low, tired and wasted. I remember bloggers giving me encouragement and reinforcing my stand and points. Well just about 16 months later, I met Mr. Q again. his circumstances have changed greatly. For one, he got promoted and now heads a very strategic department in his company. His company is leading in the service industry in the region. Mr. Q sat me down and told me how his work has become almost impossible to do.

Somehow those things I told him that fateful November touched his intellect as he put it. He describes it as 'The Moment'. He changed his ways of doing things and vowed to work things professionally and in a clean manner. And that is what has caused him all manner of problems. He has been exposed to long running and complex corruption chains some so entangled that he finds he is man island of sorts in a sea full of sharks. For every deal he stumbles upon and tries to correct, he gets several smses some friendly and offering goodies while some being hard core threats. I had no words for my convert but I learnt that indeed you should never underrate what you believe in. Whether someone tries to bring you down just tell them. I was actually shocked that while I thought I had lost the argument that November, my words had somehow found some soft landing in him and converted him. Now even when he sat across from me telling me about his hard times with corruption cells in his company he was asserting that he will not compromise his principles. He was telling me of how many such cells he had already dismantled and I was nodding inside me and smiling happily.

But broadly speaking in this country corruption and disrespect for other peoples property is almost as ingrained as a culture. Its almost a given concept that if no one is looking, you are welcome to grab and plunder to your fill. When a few guys like Ongeri and Karega are unlucky or stupid enough to be caught every one else goes for their necks yet the bottom line is simple and straight forward: Just let us respect and accept what does not lawfully belong to us.

mwakweres exit

Wow. the reaction to the news of Mwakwere's lose of the matuga parliamentary seat is overwhelming. Does it mean the man was this unpopular?

What is going on?

Today the often funny discussions on radio caught my attention. A man with a strangely deep voice called in to say he was in deep distress. on prodding, he said that the issue was that 1. he was married 2. He was having extra marital affair with 15 other women. however his biggest problem was that of these 15, 13 are married with children!

He really sounded like a man in distress and intimated that he had tried in vain to change his ways to no success and he wanted help. But pray 15? whats more, he claimed that he never looks for these women. they come after him and he is too weak to resist. Which brings to light the stories they have been on and on about this week about women having gone on the overdrive and turned to be the hunters instead of the hunted. A number of them are calling in the radio stations to proudly talk about how they are cheating on their husbands with their cousins, friends workers etc. Which gives credence to that Jimmy Gathu campaign about mpango wa kando. And me am just left wondering for the life of me what has suddenly gotten to the fairer species. the angels are fast becoming devils what will the devils be?

Identity Theft; Buyer Beware

The runaway success of the M-PESA money transfer product of Safaricom has brought to Kenya what has hitherto been a story only heard of in the developed economies. That of theft of identity. Right now con men and women have decided to go a notch higher and have abandoned their infamous but highly successful fraud call telling you that you have won 300,000 shillings in some fictitious tambua ushinde promotion. (even though you never participated) Right now, they simply steal your identity. Most victims are being called and asked to give away their information like PIN number, frequently called numbers, and even M-PESA balance. How it works is that these guys most times stand over your shoulder when you are either depositing or registering and note the number, ID etc of either you or the person you are sending to. They then call you up pretending to be calling from Safaricom. Of course when someone calls you by your full names, gives you the exact time you made a transaction plus your national ID, you are bound to trust him when he tells you that he needs your PIN to be able to fix an issue with your transaction. When you do that he simply swaps off your simcard and takes over your phone and therefore your account.

And they are becoming more and more aggressive and heartless. Last Monday I got a call from one such fraudster who told me that a relative of mine had been involved in an accident near Nakuru and needed urgent help. He said that he needed airtime urgently to make calls. He wanted it quickly since he was on his way to the hospital with the said relative. The man was not giving me time to ask questions. only saying 'wewe unanisumbua na maswali na mtu wenu amepata ajali mbaya'. The rain only started beating his plan with me when I failed to place the name of the person in question and again when he said they were in the same private vehicle from Eldoret. They were only the two of them, yet he could not describe the said patient!

Bottom line things are bad, fraudsters are sharper, and you just need to learn to fly without perching

Heart Wrenching

My good nephew the King sent me a number of pictures two weeks ago. I have struggled to keep my eyes open any time time I look at them. There were only a few I could and decided to share them with you. I must warn though that they are not for the faint hearted however sharing them is the only good way to make known to the world the true state of affairs in Sudan.

Its clear that that the north controlled government of Sudan is hell bent upon trying to annihilate the poor south. My teacher for history told us in form one about two decades ago that annihilation was a folly. History has shown that it never works and has never worked. Hitler did bizare things to the non-aryans in the last century. But he never came close to succeeding in stoping the estropiés leave alone the jews.

These photos further remind us that people haven't learnt from history and that they still believe that their life is better off if they were alone in this world. Contrary to this fact we all know that human is social and if you were left alone with all the music, with all the gold with all the land, forests, oil and the like they would simply not make any sense until someone else was available to either buy them or share them with you. For us Kenyans, we must prevent this from happening to us.

Of Safaricom and Revisions

The current rally of the Safaricom shares has reminded me of the adage that all men are equal by their greed. Over the past one year I have been consoling and encouraging and sometimes dissuading many of my friends who had taken loans to buy the stock. They have been paying the loan begrudgingly and some have actually defaulted. In fact am told equity which was one of the most bullish in the run up to Safaricom IPO are facing the highest percentage of non-performing loans in this category.

Most of these friends promised themselves that the moment the share price only but covered their outstanding loans, they would cut their losses, sell, repay in full and take a 'boltish' flight. There were many other options for investment than Safaricom.

Well fate had it, the price started moving north inch by inch. Each day, my friends revised their sell by level. It moved from 3.50 to 4 bob with reasons that the interest must be covered. Then the limit was moved to 4.40, when the price hit 4.20 early this week, they conveniently revised their target to 5 bob and said should it ever touch the IPO price, they would surely sell. Well it did yesterday and all of a sudden the options had to be revised all over again. They are back to the proverbial drawing board and now the discussions are if and when the share price will ever hit 10 bob since at 10 bob, loans are fully covered, down payments for dream houses can be made, and the range rover can finally land!

But the other questions am being asked is what I feel about the 'greed' of the MPs from Rift Valley regarding the Mau. Well my thoughts are that Mr. Ruto and his friends have behaved as expected of any Kenyan politician. Any (Kenyan) politician who hasn't used this opportunity to gain some mileage in the Rift Valley is not worth his salt. What of Raila, will this affect his career? Well I don't know, the man always makes mind boggling blunders every time in his career and from each one of them he somehow comes out stronger. Every body saw the end of him when he merged his party with Nyayo. At the end of the day you can never tell what he has up his sleeves.

What About Kenya's Needs Jameni?

Last evening after watching two Kenyan men one Mr. Wathika and one Mr. Kutuny give their divergent views about the constitution and what they wanted of Kenya, I was grimly made acutely aware of what has gone wrong with our country. I was in fact reminded of how our one time progressive youth group was brought to its knees and eventual death some years back. The group had been founded by a brilliant young catholic Priest from England. Even though it was based on Catholic faith, he had actually taken into consideration all the issues that affected the youth including vocation, training,Sports and Culture, self employment, jobs , reproductive health and even horning of leadership skills. The group was to say the least what any young person would need especially in the difficult years of adolescence and post adolescence.

However for some strange reason, the young priest was suddenly recalled to England and was given higher responsibilities meaning he wasn't able to manage the group anymore. He had groomed a few people to lead us when he was gone but that was the beginning of the end. Almost everyone started scrambling for the resources that the group owned. Everyone wanted to be a leader, a trainer or even a facilitator of the many workshops that it held. (Even people who could hardly express themselves in English!) The issue was that no one was giving, everyone aimed at gaining. Every single person was focused on what they could get from the group and not what they could give. inevitably the movement collapsed.

What of Kenya? Every time you watch the news or listen to people its all about what these people must get. What those people have already gotten and how those others are unfair in distribution etc. What we should be asking is distribution of what? No one seems to be caring about Kenya and thats why they all talk of what they want OF Kenya and not what they want FOR Kenya.

Away from Kenyans and their demands, November sure does have great tidings for me. Somehow most people close to me were born in or closely around this month. starting from King Mswati, Higher Power, The Kilo Watt Man, Hawi and even my last born. Happy Birthday to you all and Happy November too!

..two steps back

That the it has taken Kenyans a real long time to write a constitution would not be news. In fact whole careers have been made and others destroyed because of the one thing called Katiba. Finally it has been apearing though that we are finaly having a general consensus on the supreme law of the land. However yesterday I was appalled to note that as part of the new law there were proposals to divide Kenya into regions. Well nothing wrong really about having regions instead of provinces. What shocked me was the criteria used. I saw the proposal is that those of us in Ugenya and those Migori will be in one region while those in Kuria (who are closeset to migori will be with those in Kisii district in one region! The whole of western province will also be one region in spite of its size and population. Its like taking two major steps back in terms of trying to get unity of purpose in this nation. Why would you divide the country on tribe basis if you wanted to unite it jameni?

Its KCPE Time

Today is when more than 750K children will be sitting for their first ever national exam. The rehearsals were done yesterday and when I had gone to buy my daughter her clip board, I found they were out of stock. Its the one time that parents go out of their way to make life as easy as possible for the candidates. Even if they are from Kavunyalalo primary school where kids learn under a tree, am sure the stones on which they sit would have to be made more bearable.

Actually nothing much has changed since I sat my own version exactly 20 years ago. they still shade the choices, carry with them 3 pencils (for 5 exams!) an eraser and a set. Bofa set has remained the most affordable brand but the quality has taken a thorough beating!

However cheating has gone a notch higher with kids employing all sorts of tricks. Maybe its coz they have seen from their parents and leaders the importance of short-cuts and quick wins. Its all about saving time.

And talking of saving time, last weekend I learnt that time was scarce even for courtship in the eastlands part of the city. vis

boy to girl: 'mazee yenyewe mimi nimekunice sikufichi na we pia use? useme. unanipa au hunipi? coz sitaki kukuwastia time ya? yako na mimi pia usiniwastia time ya? yangu'

But on the western part of the city also known in local lingo as 'kwa ma sources' (kwa wadosi aperently is old) vibe goes thus:

Boy to girl: I sooo wish you yaani, si we hook up and catch pints?

There you go no time for the long deliciously flowery letters we used to write themdays. Time is money!

But seriously, how on earth are those kids of Kavunyalalo who learn under trees against the wind and other elements supposed to compete with the ones in Makini?

A Frog Hoping Out into the Sun...

In my tongue they say that you can never meet a frog hoping out of the pond and into the open unless things are very bad whence he comes. In fact it was common when I was growing up in Masiro to take to your heels if you met a warty toad or frog hoping in a hurry to what seems like nowhere. There could be a snake! Problem was when it was in the open, it made an easy meal for a hawk up in the air.

And I thought of the same yesterday when the ever blissful Wako came out for the first time in my memory of him to defend himself against accusations of sleeping on the job and also deliberatively aiding the people of power and influence to perpetuate impunity. Many people say Wako is a brilliant lawyer which explains why his tirade yesterday against the mighty America was like a the frog hoping hurriedly to nowhere.

Some people have argued that you can eat, dine and be merry even if you didn't have a USA visa. After all like Isaac Ruto said Wako's office is not in New York. But thats not the point. The point is that its very difficult to perform your duties as a senior govt official without this Visa given that the moment you lose it, you also most likely lose Visas to most European countries. And since most of our governance is based on foreign support which basically implies foreign trips and so on. It means you cant travel for these overseas meetings which means your assistants who may not be decision makers have to represent you etc etc. That basicaly translates to you not performing the duties you were hired for.

My thinking is that denying an official visa is a way of firing the official on behalf of the President! And thats why Wako came out like a frog.

On another note, I couldn't help but notice that so far the US has already forced out 2 people they have always had problems with. A. ringera, and M. Ali. Wako is probably next because I don't see Kibaki backing him. The man will most likely not comment but Wako will also probably not get access to him which is his silent way of telling you to take a walk! Kibaki is the kind of sonko who cant bear firing anyone even if you were stepping on his toes but he will just silently ignore you or avoid eye contact!

Failing...To Succeed

Just after reading cracked's article on people who made their failure a personal success, I got home to news that one Ngangalito, the young man who stole the fame during the last tusker project fame show had actually got success and will be running his own show on the dynamic Citizen TV.

Its quite a shocker I must say. I disliked the boy from day one. I was fearing that he would do a Hemedi once again and I kept on wondering what EABL was trying to achieve with such non-talent's in the premier show. However as the days wore on, I started seeing the other side of Nganga. One trait that endeared him to everyone I guess was his never say die attitude. He took all criticism in his stride and added a warm smile to every apearance. Nganga probably knew what none of the contestants knew. That the show was not really about talent. Such shows are about viewaship since they are just another mega advertisement. Neither EABL nor Citizen will care if you choked as you sung as long as people are watching and drinking!

So much about Nganga and his Italians. Yesterday, I was rather taken aback watching one truly talented Usain Bolt jokinngly touch our president on the shoulders as his senior ministers looked on like kids. I felt bad. It didnt help that he was towering over the old man and patting his shoulders like those of a small boy who has been given candy.But we already agreed that you never look a gift horse (goat) in the mouth. So that too will pass.

Such gifts would not have been necessary if we were more proactive in managing our internal affairs. The Excellency would have protected our sovereignty by not standing in line to receive donations from a 23 year old '3rd Worlder'. But that would only have been posible if we shuned shortcuts to reaches.

Shotcuts like the ones used by teachers and students to get ahead and pass the national exams. All because they fear to fail in life while they should just be referring to Ngangalito above on how to succeed in spite of failure!

Villains and Psychos

A long lost Congolese journalist and Academic friend of mine has remembered me by way of an email. And that was very comforting and good of him after all these years of teaching at a UK varsity. The only discomforting thing is that he only remembered me as part of a large list of email recipients of a lewd forward. So I dont know whether to smile or frown.

And the forward is rather bizarre. It shows several worm eye-view pictures of the renown mutwashi dancer and musician Tshala Muana. My friend was criticising the singer for her appearance during the show.

The pictures reveal a very stylish Tshala, clad in a long flowing dress but not wearing any panties. And that was my friends bone of contention. He was angry that the musician was not showing good picture and of the DR Congo and was instead showing her 'goods' to the public. And I wondered who between Tshala Muana and the photojournalist who took the pictures has a problem. The musician could have decided to wear less undergarments due to her size (elle est un peu bien enveloppée) and vigorous dance to reduce on sweat for all I know! But looking at the angle from which the pictures were taken it was impossible to miss an upskirt on the dancer given she was on a raised platform. Am even wondering had the journalist obtained pictures of her undergarments, would it have been less worrisome? it still would have pointed to a sick person , going out of his way to catch details of the musician which were not for public consumption.

It just reminds me of similar pictures I have seen of other prominent personalities like Martha Karua, Amani and even Pasaris. All of them just showed me evidence of irresponsible and really very very sick journalists!!!

Of Face Book and Its Alienations

In the days when a TV was a possession to behold, I used to curse a friend of mine who would promptly turn off the box when I went visiting. I used to think he didn't like me enjoying the moving pictures playing on it. One time I braved it and complained to him but he said that the TV prevented him from connecting with his guests. It was his practice to switch it off when he had friends since he valued a one to one conversation more and did not like any third party interruptions. He also never liked the direction of his causerie dictated by the events displayed on the magic box.

But that was then. Today am just finding out that unlike my friend, a ubiquitous facility called Facebook is quickly alienating me from my friends and even relatives. Just the other day, I discovered that I had not met our close family friend for almost 3 months when in my mind I thought we have been with her at least every other day. Because of Facebook, I have been able to know everything that was going on in her life and so I hadn't made time to pay her a visit or even call. Her status always updates when she goes to church, misses out on water, buys a new water tank for storage or when looking for a new house-help! So when I met her and insisted I had been a 'good' friend you should have seen her shock. For a definition of a good friend is not one who keeps up with you only on a website!

But I like the site. Even though I never update my own status (it has to do with my soldier cousin's comment about the site) I normally find it quite interesting. Facebook has made me know most of my friends based on what they update in their status. One of them is a smooth operator and always has sweet words for the fairer gender. Another is a funny man who always sees the ticklish side of life. While another will all the time praise the gods of inebriation.

I have also seen who among them are born leaders. The ones who always updates the others when he meets a long lost acquaintance. Another complains and blames everyone but himself about corruption and mismanagement of public affairs. While a yet another shows split personally syndrome. Wanting to mask her stories while at the same time reveling the juicy details of them. Its also good entertainment especially on the phone when waiting for someone who cant keep time or whiling away the moments.

On another note, today marks the start of KCSE 2009 exam. The one opportunity for young men and women all over the country to determine whether they will move from Mathare to Muthaiga or from Muthaiga to Mathare. Whether they will brew changaa to survive or charge people an arm and a leg to do life saving surgeries. In Kenya, nothing provides a life changing chance than the dreaded national exam called KCSE. No wonder there are so many cases of cheating!

To all candidates, its a big success wish to you all from Odegle.

Heads in the Sand or Plain Charlatan?

This week the media has been on the case of young people with stories of sex and related subjects. Predictably each media house has gone out to find what they would think was the juiciest of the underage sex stories to tell. (Are these houses managed by one person?)

So one came up with the story of a study which found out that young people have started engaging in sex at a very tender age and most of them are procuring abortion. The reporter said that in his time underage sex was unthinkable yet now things are 'shagalabagala'. Well that is what I too heard in the '80s and '90s when I was growing up. Our parents and adults always told us their days were saintly days! Never mind that this reporter appeared to be no older than 23.

Another media house went to the air with the story of young people buying and trying out sex enhancing drugs. They even had hidden cameras and managed to get viagra and other sex enhancement drugs from a street vendor. She was shocked that these drugs were so available to young people. She even wondered how come the youth knew about them. Well this is someone who works for a TV station that advertises Zoom in national free viewing TV in broad daylight. Zoom and many other such drugs are actually available over the counter in of all places supermarkets!!! In my view you do not need a hidden camera to find out that people both old and young buy them all the time. And again remembering my own youth, I started hearing about a drug called 'kukumanga' (sp) when I was in class five. I wonder why anyone would be surprised that kids know about these things.

But a third TV was not be left out of the 'competition' on kid sex stories. They went to bed with the one about brothels and strip joints which they said are surprisingly available in Nairobi. O boy! Is that really news? stories of karumaindo and riva rodi are almost as old as Nairobi itself. And Strip joints? They have full color A3 size posters all over the streets of Nairobi!

But maybe its not only Kenyan media. A friend sent me a youtube link with a story told by this American journalist about underage prostitution in the Kenyan coastal towns. Where kids as young as 13 are being paid by rich old men from Europe to engage mostly in unprotected sex. I would have been shocked had I not also been sent a website hosted in the US of A calling itself child models website. In reality it was full of pedophile fodder. Kids some barely 3 years pictured naked or with the subject of the photo being their panties or lower torso. Someone has to be acutely sick to in the first place host such a site, update it and even collect money from subscribers. What even of the subscribers themselves! Does that even begin to compare with the 13 year olds of the Kenyan coast?

Picking your Poison

In my current calling (where I earn my daily ugali) I have been facing a number of options on the people whom I work with. The options range from the funny to the absurd.

Take Mr. T for instance. The man is what you need for your ego in this trying Kenya especially when the good Lord decides to hold back rain for a year. He looks at me as the leadership masterpiece with unmatched intelligence, foresight and strength. He praises my fashion sense (I can assure you this is my weakest link though) and will ask me where I bought those shoes so that he too can buy. In our meeting he nodes in approval when I talk and quotes what I said ages ago some that even I have forgotten! Downside? Mr. T's assignments are always at best 1 week late! However he always has very fitting explanation for any such delay or any flip up.

What of Miss Y? O boy! For starters I find her beauty kinda intimidating especially since am happily married and also her boss (probably she knows it) when am talking she is always restless showing body signs to suggest am talking trash or too much. She fights everyone at every opportunity. Any time I have any significantly urgent and delicate task to be done at whatever hour (even night) I would quickly but nervously dial her number and give it to her. Naturally if it was after hours she would take me through a long litany of gripe which she refers to as a 'piece of her mind' after which I would thank her and disconnect the phone. After an hour or two she would send me an update sms and an email detailing the job done to my satisfaction.

But Mr. D is the guy who when around would stammer every word and fidget and basically fail to say anything coherent. Its impossible for him to do anything unless you expressly tell him to and direct him how to do it and so on.

Really to succeed how do you pick your poison?

On another note i was deeply encouraged by Geoffrey Owiti Oyoo winning Churchill's Top Comic competition. The young man from a fairly humble Kibera background 'walked' away (he said he couldn't drive) with a new Isuzu D-Max)

Know Birthday, Will Travel

A friend of mine has been denied a simple US visit visa for what I find to be the feeblest of reasons. That he did not know the birth day of the sister he was to visit! I don't know whether its derisory or woeful. And in either case who is to be laughed at or pitied. The drift is that after I heard the story, I did a quick and dirty 'survey' on my friends and discovered that a majority of them did not have such information either. In fact they dint even know their own parents birthdays. Birth years, yes but not the day! Am told in the first world things are so good that they don't have grounds for divorce so such mundane issues like not remembering your significant other's birthday can cost you a marriage and send your kids into full lives of stress and related abuse.

But I would understand them, its probably just a cultural thing. In Kenya celebrating the date of birth is quite a new affair and again its mostly done for kids below 5. The fetes normally fade in significance as years advance. However even the birthdays I have attended never even looked like such. Picture this one where we went to celebrate the first born's first year. There was bbq (nyama choma, kawaida yao), crates upon crates of tusker, pisner and even my favorite WC. There was mukwangala and even mugithi the dance that gives neighbors and friends the moral right to hold each others wives at the waist. I wondered how that was a kids birthday celebration. I even wondered if it would be remembered at a random questioning eg at the embassy!